we started with a trust exercise. we took turns closing our eyes and being led around the room by another classmate. first by touch and then by sound. we were led on a journey and guided to touch objects. inhale scents. discover sounds. i've done this before, but today was different. pretty brilliant. robin had us write, non-stop and uncensored, for a few minutes immediately after the exercise.
i followed first and this is what i wrote:
ivy walker. blind. intimacy. discoveries of sounds and textures and caressing things. the door. a state of grace and being graced. trust. above all trust. fear at losing the contact. head touched pillar in despair because i would be afraid. any time the light flickered i flinched. cinnamon is strong and reminded me of the scent game we played in preschool. i wondered what word i would choose. i tried to keep my heart open. will i. will i. couldn't stop. the guide. an intimacy of spirits. i tried to keep my trust up. i didn't want him to fail or me to fail.
i led second and this is what i wrote:
the biggest smile he had was for the blank wall. his fingers felt everything and his face was squenched up in this tightly spun amazement or disbelief. he kept on traveling, caressing nothing and everything and his fingers found all the jewels of texture it was fascinating and my joy was paternalistic. i felt very responsible. the water on the arm was a great response. his shock and then his slow smile. slow smile from the curry as well while i waited and waited for it knowing my own reaction to the scent. i wanted him to push back more.
the repeating exercise took the next step today. and any time i was sitting down in the seat my whole body was oscillating with potential energy. sheer force. and my jaw is still clenched.
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