today was a day of transition. the play is done and we're all heading directly into the meisner progression to start nine months of intense self-reconstruction which will hopefully spit us out on the other side with better acting skills. despite getting to sleep around 3am, my eyes and mind opened wide at 8:30am and refused to shut down again. an energized start to a full day.
the day found me spending a good deal of time with old and new friends alike - two, in particular, who i have always experienced a special connection when the three of us are together. the last year of our lives, though completely apart from this trinity, have been so parallel it's almost scary. really. juxtapositions. convergence. synchronicity. and heart. all three of us. and today for the first time in over a year, we all happened on the same coffee shop at the same time. after several hours of leisurely catch up and nectarines, i spent the rest of the day with eden, recapping on the previous evening's performance and making up for a week of dense living but incompatible schedules.
there was one completely unexpected moment of the day: it's a part of a longer story that is not mine to tell, but one of my newer friends sat in his grief with me and i found the beginnings of redemption for jaimini. i think it was watching this man, mostly without words, in this indescribable place that evoked so much humanity and resonance it spilled over into the spaces that jaimini occupies in me. there is a softness i have for this man that i suddenly find myself willing to give to jai for the first time since things dissolved for us. not that am filled with forgiveness or would be unmoved were i to see him on the street tomorrow, but it's a beginning to the final stages of recovery.
after a long afternoon nap, i mirrored this process of review/reconnect in my physical space by a thorough house cleaning and reorganization of the top floor. i even pulled out all of the bookbinding paper underneath my bed to exterminate the rabbit warrens of dust bunnies. this task served a dual purpose of also letting me go through all of my paper and start mulling over what my next journal will look like. i've carried my current journal for four years and still have three of the ten signatures (sections) left, but somehow, i feel like they are going to move quickly so i want to be prepared with its replacement. i wish i could have had the time to completely reorganize my two art closets (and, hey, clothing closet too), but the day has ended and it's pumpkin hour so i'm off to bed.
on the topic of my bed, i changed the sheets to flannel and the duvet cover back to red. and tomorrow, hopefully, or friday at the latest, the streaks in my hair will be back to emerald green.
redefine and reinvent.
fall and change, here i come.
currently listening to: radiohead on shuffle, though to wind down, i put super collider on repeat.
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