9.17.2008

love at first sentence

it's my new book. i bought it today because of a recommendation from a friend. it's my treat this week as i recuperate from my last class and prep for the next. i had already decided to buy it, but turned to the first page while standing in line and had goosebumps almost immediately. the opening words are:

first the colors.
then the humans.
that's usually how i see things.
or at least, how i try.

the story is told from death's point of view, instantly captivating and harkens back to keturah and lord death which was the book that started this blog. on the very next page, he says:

i could introduce myself properly, but it's not really necessary. you will know me well enough and soon enough, depending on a diverse range of variables. it suffices to say that at some point in time, i will be standing over you, as genially as possible. your soul will be in my arms. a color will be perched on my shoulder. i will carry you gently away.

at that moment, you will be lying there (i rarely find people standing up). you will be caked in your own body. there might be a discovery; a scream will dribble down the air. the only sound i'll hear after that will be my own breathing, and the sound of the smell, of my foosteps.

the question is, what color will everything be at that moment when i come for you? what will the sky be saying?

mind you, this is just in the first page and a half, and if you know me at all, you know that color is central to who i am. grey was the color of my first memory and i wonder what will be the color of my last. i wonder what color death will bring me. what final gift will he bestow.

another book the above mentioned friend recommended featured a character who identified all the different ranges of each emotion (400 kinds of sadness, anger, fear, joy, etc...) and while i consider myself to be an emotionally articulate person, what interests me more are all the minute variations of color.

if i were to decide what color death would bring, today it would be red. but not blood red (just saw burn after reading and there was enough blood red in that for me to know that's not the kind i want). hazy fall sunset red. blush red. alizerine crimson. the red of my duvet. dry but comforting. saturated and alive. bejeweled red. red. red. red. red.

in the dream i had about my wedding, it was the red flowers that woke me up to the tragedy of what i was missing (see something old something new... july 15). it is my red dress that i am the most bold. it is in red that i am really the most alive.

and what could be more fitting than being ushered out of this world by the color that has most symbolized life?


currently listening to: in rainbows disc 1 & 2 - radiohead

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