i threw my neck out in class today. overzealous on the walking exercise. my body went cold and felt funny though for the most part i wasn't in pain. a very strange experience to just feel extremely not right but not be in any pain. and yet my whole body was occupied with this feeling of not right. an alien in my own skin.
later:
an exercise that held a surprise for me - the objective/imaginary circumstances exercise: a classmate and i were at a movie theater as a couple that had been together for a year an a half. we were a serious couple and for reasons i won't go into here (being insignificant), he had to get a $10 bill into my purse without me knowing. my circumstances included the fact that tonight i knew he was going to propose and i was really excited about that and wanted him to ask. the surprise for me came in the fact that i could just really be in that space comfortably, physically. this past week has found me examining my relationships with men and my trust or lack thereof. in light of all the personal excavation i have gone through, i was delighted to find myself in a physically intimate space {we were cuddling in "movie seats"} and completely at ease and comfortable. until tonight my experience has always been that it's really foreign/not-at-ease-like-it-should-be to be in that intimate space with someone i barely know and yet somehow this was different. i'm not sure if it was due to the fact that the two of us had just done work that had hit a vulnerable space earlier in the week, or if i'm opening and finding in my interactions with men a sense of safety and security. either way, it was unexpected. and somehow a gift.
currently listening to: arvo part
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