another nightmare

from a letter to a friend:

blech, woke up from some really disturbing dreams right at the end. the boxes i have with all of our family photos were also filled with dead concentration camp survivors. there were bugs. and lice. and lots of tragically thin bodies. really upsetting. i know exactly where it came from. a girl at work {i still don't know what she was thinking} sent a powerpoint to us with: "sorry i can't translate, but you have to see the pictures." no warning. nothing.

mind you, we tend to pass along silly animal photos, power points of dubai in all its glory, etc. interesting. funny. innocuous things. and i open this one up to find piles and piles of bodies. emaciated figures. it took me completely by surprise and after a few clicks, i shut it as tears started to prick my eyes. it didn't help that i am reading a book right now that takes place in a small town in germany during world war two. a family is/was hiding a jew. the story is narrated by death, so he saw many of these bodies.

that was a few weeks ago, so it's interesting that it chose today to haunt me. i can still see all the little organisms crawling over the bodies. i want to wash my brain out with soap. and i think the worst thing was knowing that it somehow came from our history. the photo albums were gone. or maybe just covered up.



currently listening to: my neighbor practice some sort of {slightly annoying} instrument