conflicted {resolved}

i have no words for this one tonight. it plays into my bigger story of this week a little too vividly. and i feel like a wreck and i feel like i act younger than my age rather than older {the latter being something i have always been secretly [mistakenly?] proud of}.

and yet, who are they to threaten any part of me, most of all this part of me? and who am i to let them? damn. it.

frustration mixed with false hope. yet again. i hope you know you and all your misplaced judgments can go to hell.

i guess i was right not to trust you.
i was hoping you would break out of the pattern.

30 minutes later: i had a conversation with my cousin who did a lovely job of encouraging charity and grace here. for the other, but i know i deserve a good dose myself too.


currently listening to: sæglópur - sigur rós {the opening is so magical - reminds me of the crystalline sound of music boxes}
photo credit: the village movie stills