tactile.

recently i've found or been given several words in particular that define something very specific about myself. these parts have almost go unnoticed, and yet, are brought to sudden prominence in my understanding of myself in the simple process of being named.

resonance.
preservationist.


and just last night: tactile.

what a perfect little word for the way my fingers savor the texture of my scarf and explore the cropped ends of my hair. for the almost absentminded snagging of leaves from shrubs or trees as i go on walks. and then the methodical shredding of the fibers into little pieces that i finally breathe in their earthy fragrance before passing them on to the sidewalk. it's the desire that wants to touch someone when i'm connecting on a deeper level or even just reach out for and caress a colored object that catches my eye.

it's a driving motivation that informs so many moments of my life. the standard bearer for how i savor this world. and before yesterday, it was nameless. but, thanks to jesse, i have an articulated idea to tether this whole part of my self to. and it can be held. and owned. and preserved.

and that's important because i'm a preservationist....

currently listening to: milk thistle - conor oberst