change.

this is a significant moment for me. moving out. getting my own place. choosing a gorgeous space that resonates the entirety of my self over a larger space that tried to seduce me with ample storage and a large bedroom.

but i didn't let myself make the wrong decision. i didn't let the whispering/whimpering advantages distract me, and in the end i know having to pare down my possessions {not my books} won't be a bad thing. i even have a creative idea or two on how to solve my space issues. it will require more old wooden crates, however, but half the fun of decorating with them is finding them. anyone up for antique mall shopping?

tonight, a mentor of mine allowed me to see this decision in a different light than the previous "this is way too expensive/unpractical/frivolous decision." instead he suggested that i am honoring myself in this space. i am honoring the part of me that resonates by choosing a landing-place that inherently awakens that part of me. so it doesn't matter for the moment that i won't be saving {as much} for travel, or the house i eventually want to own, or even the $400 boots that are still calling my name. because i have made the choice so that i can have the vibrancy and color these other things could bring to my life, but here. now. on a day to day basis. every time i walk through my door.

and he's right. and what a glorious step forward.

in the end, this part of me that sees some form of beauty and feels like a tuning fork has been struck somewhere in the vicinity of my ribcage, this part of me that is most alive. most myself. and the past year and a half of work i have done with this mentor has been about wending my way deeper and deeper into my self to understand this space and process of resonance. to see the reasons the system breaks down and putters to a halt and stand by and cheer while movement resumes.

thank you, robert. more than you will ever fathom.

my hair is short.
i own a deep pink leather jacket.
i still wriggle out of trying to really, truly trust it, but i can feel the column of strength and certainty running up my torso that is divinely me.
i am an artist with a glorious space.
i know this is a significant move. and it surprised me with the suddenness of the timing, but resolution has laid itself out with ease like a red carpet unfurling before me.
i don't even know what is over the next horizon, but like this country perched on the edge of change i know i have made the right choices and set myself up for success.

things i'm looking forward to in my new place:
steam heating and a toasty winter.
the challenges of organizing all my things into a new space.
buying quirky mismatched dishes at goodwill.
having a place all to myself.
creating a visual and colorful journey through the space from the moment i walk through the door all the way to the back of the kitchen.
looking out my window each morning.
southern facing windows.
the church outside my window.
living less than a block away from not one, but two coffee shops {victrola and bauhaus}.
living a mile away from my gym and whole foods.
swimming again at the y.
yoga.
my neighbors.
going up 5 flights of stairs when i'm feeling energetic.
riding up 5 floors in the elevator when i'm not.
conflating my art and living space.
taking the bus to work.
taking the bus to class.
taking the bus.
walking to the seattle art museum on a saturday morning.
high ceilings.


just to name a few.

currently listening to: untitled 8 - sigur rós
current favorite tea: tazo wild sweet orange.