this is from the gchat dialogue between one of my closest friends and myself about last night's class. a slightly more frank take on the night. hope it's not too repetitive.
eden: start the story over will you? i'm all sorts of confused...just want to understand
me: okay,
so, firstly, i came into the room and very intently lit a whole bunch of candles while sitting on the couch after turning on my music.
i was adamant all candles should be burning and it took a long time to get them all lit.
it helped ground me into the space.
then i walked over the to the table, grabbed my things from the "closet" and then took off my coat, sweatshirt and then lifted my shirt over my head.
eden: (thanks for really telling the story)
me: it kind of got stuck on my hair which was pinned up.
oh, and i had put make up on before leaving, so my face looked really put together. people noticed.
eden: :)
me: then, i just dove into the activity.
but really quickly my scene mate who was also my brother knocked on the door. i had my shirt off so i wasn't inclined to let him in.
i opened the door (with a robe on). we spoke. i shut it on him again, etc.
he knocked again. i said fine, deal with it (as in, you're my brother and i'm undressed).
or partially undressed.
at one point he said: you're making me uncomfortable and i yelled at him "you were the one that demanded to be let in" but then i realized my anger was a response to feeling embarrassed as a response to his discomfort, so i said: "you're making me self conscious"
eden: ahhhh
me: which was the deeper truth of that moment.
and more vulnerable than the anger.
so it was good that i could go there.
eden: (yes)
me: at the end of writing the name, i realized i couldn't see around my boob (to finish the word), so i had this moment of: i don't really want people to SEE me move it out of the way to write the letters, but then i realized i would do that if i were alone in the room so i pushed my boob into my body so i could see around it.
eden: (big smile)
me: then, i drew the arrow down.
there were snickers from the crowd
but i knew the punchline was coming: "hell no"
Eden: yes you did
me: it was really great. the only comment i got from the men was from jesse who jokingly complained that all he could see was the column that was blocking his view.
eden: THAT'S amazing
me: yeah, huh.
only jesse could have gotten away with that.
there were also lots of jokes about me insisting on putting on a shirt before hugging bill for our post-scene contact.
eden: thats good nat.
and I said, that's amazing in the sense of I know that jesse could get away with it
me: yeah. it was. jesse said he imagined it, and i quipped something about making me bigger and he said: "i kept you small" and i said: "geeze, THANKS! tell me what you really think about my breast size"
eden: just curious, how did you perceive the women to respond as you were doing it
me: and he defended himself: NOT TINY! just not any bigger than they are.
uhm....i wasn't aware of nor worried about the women during the piece.
eden: gotcha
me: and afterwards, unyoung came up and said: that was really fun to watch. and i felt a kinship and appreciation. and she wanted to smell my purfume i had brought but never got a chance to put on.
eden: that's great
me: and jenn came up later (she was maggie in the play) and said: that was so much fun. i wanted to see you actually do the strip tease. and i said: ME TOO! i wanted to give him the biggest f***ing erection ever and then walk away.
it was funny how much i got into that.
eden: yeah
me: so, back to robin's feedback. she asked me what it was about. i told the story and talked about the specifics, a few of them, like the boots with heels he wanted me to own, etc, etc and how he would see these things for the first time right before i said: you can't have them.
and she laughed and said: "in a very memorable way. he won't ever forget this no."
someone from the audience: yeah, don't cross nathania.
a scattering of laughter.
then robin said; i hesitate to even say this, but this is the point more clothes start coming off in class.
eden: gotcha
me: and i took that as some sort of excuse. like she needed to tell the other students: watch out, some of your classmates are going to go off the deepend. when really, she was saying: we are getting into more daring territory here
eden: mm, not how I took it
me: i know, but sooooooooo much how i took it.
eden: yes, we are getting deeper in, the next levelof meisner of course
me: and the next level of vulnerability.
eden: yes
me: so.
eden: so
me: did i satisfy your curiosity fully?
eden: lol yes definitely
currently listening to: a sunday smile - beirut
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