flying

today, in my voice lesson, i found something new: that incredible, free falling space where the sound came straight from my gut, effortless and true — an entity of its own flying free from my body with a power and clarity i couldn't even recognize.

and it brought with it such an overwhelming feeling of joy i started giggling mid-scale, then laughing out right, then crying, then laughing and crying again until the sobs took over and a grief not unlike the one i felt on mile 11 of the half marathon swept through me, leaving me clean and calm in the face of how scary it is to be so powerful.

i have only ever reliably experienced this feeling of being such a clean conduit in front of a canvas, paint brush in hand, critical mind carefully stowed out of the way in some muted back corner, but what a perfect time to be finding this in my body as a product of the instrument of my lungs, my soft palate, my self.

now, nat, go out and find this in a body called catherine standing simply on a blank stage. she's there. she's waiting.