between the two shows last week i had a dream:
i was given an acting role where i had to embrace my sexuality and i
froze up i got so scared. (a week and a day later) the image i
remember most from the dream is running down a long hall sobbing at
the thought of being seen as a sexual being...what humiliation i would
feel...what judgments of unworthiness i would incur...
gut wrenching sobs.
there was some sense of embrace/closure at the end of it, but its
image has faded in a way the grief and terror has not.
pt 2.
last night's dream:
i got to see three radiohead/thom yorke shows in a row and perhaps
even all in one day. each show got progressively smaller and more
remote and the final show took place out in a canyon in the middle of
nowhere and the audience topped off around 40. but i was among the
lucky chosen.
and not just to be in the audience.
i still remember the joy and awe at being guided into the same plane
(that we needed to access this remote location) as the band. he was
right there. so nonchalant and casual.
oh the teasing nature of dreams.
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