i know i never ended up writing much about being on the farm. i guess that was part of the beauty of the ten days i spent there. i lived in my hands, not through keyboards or paintbrushes, but directly into the earth and i ended up spending very little time in front of the computer {except on hot afternoons while waiting for the sun's reign to wane a bit}.
toward the end i did have a completely surprising conversation in that i had sort of {mis}understood that i wouldn't really connect with this person. it's not that i dismissed him, but more that i observed him during the first visit to the farm and assumed that we wouldn't necessarily have a pull toward each other.
of course, i would say almost the exact same thing about the man i've been seeing for the past seven months, if not more {the exact words my inner monologue supplied on meeting him for the first time were: hmmm....he's from a completely different universe as me. interesting...and of course here we are seven months and one week into our unique, but fitting relationship interviewing to move into a group house together}.
but i digress.
the point of this letter is the byproduct of the first failed day of cherry sorting. the farmer had some cherry pickers fail to show up, so he didn't need me to help sort the cherries {pull out the bird pecked, overripe and/or undersized cherries}. i trooped back down the hill to the veggie fields and helped with the csa harvest which included carrot harvesting with the aforementioned farm hand. his name is daniel. he's twenty three and so much the opposite of a similarly adorned and numbered fellow i met a few days before heading out, but that, my dears, is another story entirely.
i digress again.
{perhaps it is the hour.
currently nearing midnight and i'm restless and writing—a sure sign life is rustling up some change for me.}
carrot uprooting can be an arduous task so we had the considerable length of the bed {and size of the csa order} to sustain a hearty conversation on the topic of beauty, aesthetics, philosophy, spirituality and resonance. it was divine in the figurative and literal sense and still makes me feel alive whenever i think about this lovely convergence of two souls over carrots {and later strawberries and paper pints}.
as any conversation i would have on aesthetics {which, he informed me, is derived from the greek meaning to excite the emotions}, it included a raving review of thom yorke and radiohead, which he knew very little about. as the jasper concert of radiohead never happened during the last days of my time there, the next best option is a care package complete with two discs of radiohead and a copy of my current favorite piece on beauty: hillman's the practice of beauty.
here are the playlists and letters i sent accompanying the music:
so daniel, how do you give someone your favorite band? it's quite hard. but i tried to make it easier on me and made an upbeat {relatively} and downbeat disc so you can put in whichever your mood dictated. a lot of radiohead is rather downbeat, but i find it's not depressive for me as many people find it. the music, and most particularly thom yorke's voice, brings me alive and makes me resonate in whatever my mood is. resonance. blessed resonance.
i arranged the albums chronologically and have made some notes about particular songs below. tell me what you think.
upbeat:
1-4 are from kid a and always hearken back to the kid a tour when i saw them perform summer of 2001 at the gorge. stellar show and my favorite of all of these is #4, idioteque, which makes me want to jump around and dance no matter where i am or who i'm with. and it's not the dancing of a five year old, not the dance of innocence and abandon, but of intensity and presence. the song is so full for me. so full.
5-10 are from hail to the thief which i purchased in scotland while traveling in the summer of 2003. all of them have this rollicking rhythm but wolf at the door {#8} really took me to a new place about this time last year during a particularly tough break up. i love the way he sings/accuses "flan in the face."
11-15 are from in rainbows and the b-sides from that release, made oct 2007. i could write volumes on this album alone, but #12, the reckoner, is so so so beautiful it's almost painful. it makes my heart vibrate in my chest and struggle to let something out even now i can't name. recently i realized the song was coming up shortly on my player and almost turned it off because i was chewing something and knew i didn't want to be chewing still when the song came on. too much resonance happening. too much emotionally and nothing left to take care of mundane things like chewing.
a small note on #14 down is the new up. i always play it when my world is turning upside down. it reminds me that things will still be okay once down is the new up.
downbeat:
1-3 are from the bends, which i listened to in high school. there are still good songs. nostalgic and beautiful. #1, high and dry, the lyrics are fantastic and good breakup lyrics.
skipping ahead to #7, pyramid song , i bought this album {or listened to it a lot} in australia, and particularly during a writing for film class. we had a story outline due one day and at 12am the night before i still didn't have a word written down for my 9am or 10am class the next morning. but i was sitting my room with this song on repeat and suddenly the story he's telling in the song took shape in my head. i hammered out the outline in an hour or so and turned it in the next day. when we got the outlines back a week later, after an extended conversation about the challenges of dialogue, he passed mine back and started talking about the choice NOT to have dialogue, which i hadn't added. it's a film of images. i explained that since i'm not really a writer {which now, 8 or 9 years later, i do consider myself}, but a visual artist, i thougth i would stick to what i know. and i still remember how he took the rolled up outline, tapped it against his head a few times and said: "well this...this is visual art." he wasn't one to just make compliments really ever. it was a good moment.
8 & 9 are two b-sides from earlier albums that are beautiful and heartbreaking.
10-13 are from in rainbows with the highlight being videotape, #12. this is a tragic song of goodbyes and parting of ways and it's simple, but i love the primary image of capturing it all on "red, blue, green." also, listen to the restless and rattling percussion.
14 & 15 these are two lovely live versions that were either better than the original {#14 like spinning plates} or never on a normal album {#15 true love waits}
#16 i just discovered this via a friend. it hasn't been released but it's a cover the lead singer, thom york, did for another musician's goodbye album for his wife who evidently died very young. i don't know the full story, but i can't stop listening to this song.
#17 cymbal rush - this is from thom yorke's solo album and it's super mellow and great driving music when you just want to think. i realize i forgot to put some of his upbeat solo work on the other disc, but i guess i can always send more music again.
the playlists. limited, yes. missing wonderful songs, yes. there's always time and room for more.
upbeat:
everything in it's right place
the national anthem
optimistic
idioteque
there there (the boney king of nowhere)
2+2=5 (the lukewarm)
where i end and you begin (the sky is falling in)
a wolf at the door (it girl. rag doll)
the gloaming (softly open our mouths in the cold)
myxomatosis (judge, jury & executioner)
15 step
reckoner
weird fishes/arpeggi
down is the new up
up on the ladder
downbeat:
high and dry
fake plastic trees
street spirit (fade out)
exit music
no surprises
morning bell
pyramid song
gagging order
fog
bude
all i need
videotape
last flowers to the hospital
like spinning plates
true love waits
all for the best
cymbal rush
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