making progress

meisner. it's done in one month. mark your calendars children because on the 25th of june we showcase our work. we showcase the last nine months of rebirth via meisner we've all survived. we showcase our new selves.

and it's been a long haul. and we've still got a way to go. i'm struggling to bring forward the confidence and discipline i spent two quarters fighting for. the confidence to make choices, find answers and make them come alive. the confidence and will power to say that's not helpful while gently setting aside each new onslaught of my lower self-esteem that would say in some form or another you can't do what you've set out to do.
the scary thing is that up until tonight, that voice had squirmed her way into my final project bringing up brick wall after brick wall of dead ends and you can't find hester smit here. or here. or here. or anywhere. i wasn't giving myself access to myself or to my creative and emotional imagination.

but

movement was made today. finally. and i'd like to write more about who and what i've been finding.discovering.revealing in this character of hester smit, but that won't happen tonight. i've got to head to bed. it's an hour past my bed time. but i just wanted to make a small toast tonight to progress.



currently listening to: arvo part - fur alina, spiegel im spiegel & tabula rasa: silentum.