i forgot one important moment of last week, a small exchange spanning the distance across a dashboard, some pavement and three lanes of a crosswalk.
i was having a particularly frustrating day last tuesday. things weren't clicking, i wasn't able to flow with the things i thought i should be doing or not doing, people not showing up--in short, a jonah day. amidst the whirl of it all, i was in my car waiting at a red light, chewing on something that was bothering me while composing an email about it that rather prominently included the word disappointed. i was no doubt staring rather intently through my windshield, tears just starting to form, when a man steps into the crosswalk in front of me, makes rather deliberate eye contact and smiles this soft, encompassing smile. he looks away for a handful of heartbeats until he catches my gaze again, this time turning his head to look at me for another second or two. and just as he makes his away past the third lane of the crossing, right before he is blocked from sight by a bus, he turns one final time, his whole body rotated to look at me, to smile that embrasive smile one last time. my heart, i realized, was fuller but lighter, the email, so important 15 seconds before, completely unnecessary, and a smile took residence of my face to mirror his own as i a lifted a hand to wave my acknowledgment and thanks.
he waved back and nodded his head once just before disappearing.
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