home

let me tell you about a shift i've felt in my life this past week or so. really, since the epiphany i had on my run two weeks ago {to the radiohead song let down--read about it here}. it's one i've been gearing towards for years now, and one i'll probably need to rediscover anew all the time.

but for today, i feel so alive in my ability to just let my life, my thoughts, my worries, my joys simply flow through me. i am not them. i am not my negativity. i am not my abundance*. i am not my body. i am just the conduit through which all these things pass through. i am just the witness.

and it's left me feeling free. joyful. weightless.

and somehow, finally, i have also slipped in to a place of managing everything better after fighting for months of control. i am getting to sleep earlier. i am focusing more at work. i finally switched bank accounts to my credit union which has separate savings accounts for both traveling and my acting career--two things that i want to bring more to the forefront of my life.

my dishes are done. my birds are being hung. i am present.

and, i really have to scramble to make it to bed by my midnight bed time {which is the compromise between the 11pm time i need to have and the 1/2am habit i've been pulling lately}, but i want to leave you with a live recording of the song home that has really been my anthem since the re-start i made on my year in early february when i went up to vancouver for a few days. i blasted the song all the way up north and it has been highlighted in my life in various ways since then {most notably when my friend sheree was in town in late february and we had a sing-along in my car at top volume}.

tonight, it was on repeat and again, accompanied by my blossoming voice while making chocolate chip cookies for some friends. here is a charming live version:

*though i am continuously grateful for the daily signs of the abundance of the universe. after having my best month ever at my job, i am topping that by having my best pay period ever {or just about near it}. but unlike last time, i'm not working copious hours of overtime. in fact, i feel a lot more focused at work so i feel as though i am working less, and joy is a part of each day. additionally, i had my best day of sales ever last thursday, only to beat it less than a week later. i am grateful. i am grateful. i am grateful.