despite my best efforts at authentic living, even i find myself inside a lie on occasion, living an untruth that is easier to speak than what is really happening for me. but we've come so far together, spoken so much, you'd think i would be beyond that.
when you asked for the second time are you okay? i wish i had said no, and i don't want to think about why. but yes was easier. yes was "kinder." and yes was completely at odds with what i want for you and for me.
for once two was enough for me and we welcomed the stillness to come cradle us. but you broke into the silence with a new string of words ......one......two......three......that spoke through the okayness i had insisted upon, surprising me with my own grief. and the sad thing is, i have been here before. exactly here, though i still don't know how to honor myself without bruising you. so all i can do is accept those three words you gently handed me. all else aside, they are true and we are true within them.
i love you.
and for now that is enough.
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