preservationist gone wrong

i still have my old day planner from 2007.
but not even the planner but rather a stack of loose sheets
that i have been holding on to for two moves.
first to ballard and then to capitol hill.
i packed them up and lugged them
to each new location in the offchance
i would have time in my busy life to go back
and record all the events of the year in my
sorely neglected ten year journal.
it's a journal where you write 3 or 4 lines
about each day. sum up the events for future reference.
each day (march 4th, july 27th, october 26th)
has it's own page so you can review each day
and what you were doing for the past x amount
of years. it's surprising what the mind recalls from
just reading a few lines. and it's surprising the
patterns that emerge. but, you have to use it.
you have to open it and write. each day. or at
least once a week to get the highlights. and i
have not been doing this. and the guilt
is weighing me down. and these objects
i hope to use to help me nail down these moments
passed and unrecorded are weighing me down too.

i just pitched the day planner.



i'm seriously resisting the urge to go back and fish it out of the recycling.







still.






still.



nathania,
you won't find hidden meaning in those moments already forgotten.
you haven't lost anything important as the significance of the events doesn't disappear.
and,
you are whole even without all those filler memories committed to permanence in writing.