title: something old, something new, something broken, something blue

i dreamed it was my wedding and i was about to walk down the isle. it was a small gathering of friends and family in a church. my cousins brenna and katie where there. my grandmother and grandfather were there. maybe fifteen people total. but my fiancee couldn't make it. we knew that when we planned the wedding and invited the guests and they knew that when they came. there was no doubt that he would be able be there as a good husband and present in the marriage, he just couldn't be there for the ceremony.

that was all fine until i was about to walk down the isle. i looked out over the church and saw these big white flowers on the pew at the far end of the church from me. they were hanging over the edge of the pew and their huge white faces were pointed towards me. then i saw these three fiery red flowers that someone had put on the pews also facing towards me, but these were half way down the isle and closer to me than the white ones. it was like the vibrancy of the red woke me up to the situation and suddenly i was filled with shame and grief that he couldn't be there. i realized i couldn't walk down the isle and i didn't know what to do because all these people had come for the wedding. eden was standing back by me, the lone attendant, and i took a few steps into the church and walked to the second or third pew down and then walked into the pew and sat there in my grief and shame.

and that's when the dream ended.