the meisner progression

i passed my first audition today. it wasn't for playing a role, but rather for just being me.

i had an interview at freehold theater for the meisner progression. it's a 9 month course where an ensemble of students gives birth to themselves trimester by grueling trimester.

historically i would have entered as reserved nathania unwilling to admit how much it meant or how far i want to go, but instead i went in owning myself completely. calm (except when i inhaled incorrectly and started choking), confident and direct. i wasn't asked to present a monologue, just myself and my desire to be in this space and prove to robin that i am ready. robin is the genius teacher who is hailed by several other high caliber teachers as one of the best in the whole nation. and i met her. asked what i want to do and where i am in my art, i said clearly and immediately: "i want to go to grad school. the skill i want to achieve with this art is such that i want to immerse myself in as much of the best training as i can."

and i will. and this is just the beginning. and it doesn't matter that i don't know where the $3000 for the cost of these classes will come from or how i'll put myself through grad school or how i'll even get into the program that i want (because, nathania only wants the veryvery best). none of these things matter because i have begun to step into and own myself in this journey to act professionally. and the final steps i took in order to take this very first step were many and really just an accumulation of little moments and little pushes. but the important thing is that i have begun.



currently listening to: helen - the cave singers