even before i got to camp way out in the middle of nowhere eastern washington, it was a magical experience starting with my carpool buddy and new bff {that's "best friend forever," mom}. my new friend sallie & i had the most wonderful conversation and good-food-filled drive out to the camp. bosom friends before we met {shared blog stalking in common, we both knew we'd hit it off before we met}, we spanned topics of dreams and art and relationships and connections and skin and synchronicity and good movies never once getting around to turning on music because there was no space for anything beyond the rapid fire of inspired conversation. it was the perfect three hour drive ending with a welcoming campfire, super-sized marshmallows and s'mores to rock your world {i am an excellent marshmallow roaster}.
already my expectations of only finding delightful and engaging people in attendance were met as random interactions with other guests around the fire spread out into conversations that meandered under a star-filled sky. my spirit was filled with the 12 year old magic and delight of being at camp, meeting new people and getting a rare span of time to just delight in the world around me and the wonderful event we were all gathering around: the marriage of two incredible spirits.
and so nights 49 & 50 of my nomadic adventures was spent in the only place one wants to sleep at camp, wedding or otherwise: on the top bunk of the cabin beds, catty corner to my new bff.
saturday blossomed with stunning skies shining down on my long run. of course i met with some funny looks from the other camping folks in eastern washington who don't understand that a vacation morning can have anything but bacon and campfire in it, but i did meet a fellow wedding camper out running on the trails and again, was not disappointed in finding a kindred spirit in all the participants of the community of the bride and groom. we even, after a bit of running-geek chatter, agreed to run a 10k later this fall together. another bff in the making perhaps {particularly once i got home, friended her on facebook and realized the boyfriend she mentioned is none other than an old friend from my highschool rowing days and a friendship that was always deeper than either of us could really fathom given how little time we've spent in each other's company--another story entirely}.
breakfast was the first of the community meals. dining hall style yet the food was homey and delicious and the ebb and flow of diners allowing for more conversations, more connections, more delight in this amazing assembly of wonderful people all coming together as a many-limbed entity supporting and celebrating the union of this couple. i lingered for a while, met new folks, realized i knew others from before and looked forward to a day of zip line, swimming and sunshine at camp. oh, to be 12 again for a day. what a gift.
and then there was the wedding waiting for us.
i am to a point in my life, a little restless in my single-hood at times, but susceptible to this deep, vulnerable joy laced with a dash of heartache at weddings. even ones where i am not at all connected to the couple--like weddings i photograph where perhaps i just met the bride and groom hours before--they dig deep into this longing i have to connect with someone and build together a future for ourselves, for a family, for a life joined yet interdependent. in the case of tara and nathanael i was lucky enough to see it unfold between them step by step. through weekly updates before or after singing lessons with tara, i got to watch them go from two friends joining me for an incredible viewing of hamlet, to those early moments of is there something more here? to the couple that they are now, devoted to each other and a relationship extending beyond the boundaries of each individual spirit.
what a gift of hope to me, of knowing that life can surprise you, that someone incredible might be just around the corner, and that it doesn't have to be a struggle, it doesn't have to be complicated, that sometimes, two people just know and are free and confident to act on that knowingness. this couple is a perfect example of that, and watching the wedding, so carefully crafted from the typewriter written quotes on beautiful paper strewn about the camp, to the handmade wooden arch nathanael put together, to the song john van deusen from the lonely forest sang as tara walked down the aisle: it was all a perfect reflection of the couple. and i think the thing that meant the most to me, and, in fact, mirrored a desire i have for my own hypothetical wedding to some hypothetical man out there: to have a wedding that is not merely an evening's event where people come together and disperse without the ability to truly connect, but rather is a time and space set aside where the families get to bond, where people get to see the bride and groom for more than the passing moments in the receiving line, and where {and this is something i realized at their wedding} the community is able to bond within itself creating this tightly knit circle that both celebrates and supports the union.
i felt a part of something here. a part of the community blessing tara and nathanael in a way i can't fully describe even now, after two weeks of thinking back to the event. despite how few people i knew before hand {and i actually knew more than i anticipated including the nurse at work that introduced me to the cleanse that that changed my body and life this summer}, i felt a part of something bigger stretching out its arms and embracing these two incredible spirits giving them our blessings and promising support during the journey ahead.
it was a beautiful wedding.
the dancing went till late, the dj a heap of fun {he sports two tattoos that remind me beautiful and compelling tattoos do exist}, and the 9/10 year old on the dance floor knew more about michael jackson than i ever have or probably ever will {i humbly put in a request to have kids as cool as her when i choose to bring my own into the world}. the night ended in a sparkler dance and a quiet walk back to the cabin with much looking up at the full sky of stars.
the second morning around the breakfast table i was able to make final connections of bigger significance. an old mentor of mine was there and we got to sit for a while, interrupted at times by the spit ups of his foster child {who, in a weird twist of fate, i photographed at the hospital about the time they received the call that a child was waiting for them}. it was an unexpected gift of the weekend: reconnecting with someone with whom i hold a great amount of tenderness for how he so carefully guided me to a place of strength and courage i would not have found so quickly on my own. and in particular, the project i'll be completing next spring down in alabama {more details pending} was one he was helping me work towards at the time of our mentoring work, and now, years later, emerges as a fast reality. and, in turn, i got to hear his story, see the joy emanating from him in the dance with his new, and perhaps temporary daughter, and the depth to which he loves and understands her. the playfulness her presence highlighted in him was magnificent in a way my 2am brain cannot articulate beyond the fact that it was a perfect closing connection to the weekend.
while i met a lot of wonderful folks during the weekend {kerry, ginger, renie, kris, john, etc, etc}, the last one i have energy here to note is a woman i met in passing several months back at the bride's house. she's the wife of a mutual friend and is a graceful 5' 11" tall, elegant, curvaceous to just the perfect amount, confident, lovely and an inch or two taller than her husband. it was something to witness in myself open admiration for her that is at such odds with the way i view my own body, particularly in relationship with men that are shorter than me. i hack myself to pieces with my internal monologue, shaving off whole limbs, leaving bloody messes left and right across my figure and yet here stands before me, a woman not too different from me and somehow worthy of admiration when i find myself so lacking. we had several conversations about it throughout the weekend ending in mutual confessions after returning home about how we both suffer from lingering negative self talk surrounding our height and the disparity between how we view ourselves and how we view each other as tall women. the gift of our exchange has been the tangible experience i have of her, her height and my grace towards both and now i am actively seeking to internalize this other perspective and reflect it back to myself, gift it to my self-perception.
here, take this lovely image of what it actually looks like to be a tall, lean-limbed woman and remember that you are not that different from her.
what a glorious weekend.
an impromptu photo shoot when i fell in love with the wood siding of the cabin as we walked past. wait, sallie, go stand over there....okay, now take a few photos of me. sallie is pretty mean with a camera too, evidently.
did i mention the photo booth? heck, yeah!
the drive home was magnificent. sunny eastern washington.
welcome, indian summer.
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