the prodigal parent returns

i haven't seen my father in almost six years.


that sounds weird to you, right? six years without seeing a family member and the word estranged begins flying around. but it's not like that. mostly. i mean, part of it has been the whole different continent thing.  travel is so expensive and europe feels so far away, but that's not all of it. the other part is that when i traveled out there last i embarked on just about the worst three weeks of my life.

it was messy.
teary.
and the three of us {my mom, dad, and i} without an exception regressed back to the confused and convoluted relationships of my high school years.
only this time i was trapped in an apartment with no space to claim as my own, no car to escape to friends i didn't have in the austrian countryside.
messy doesn't even begin to cut it.

but that was then.
and a whole year and a half's worth of artwork ensued, and later another year and a half of counseling followed by several more of personal growth for me combined with continuing improvement on his part {that i finally felt was supported not just by my mother's optimism}.

and then, today.
he asked me, very simply and unburdened by expectation, if he could come and spend christmas here with us kids.
and my answer was immediate and unflinching:

yes.

i'm not sure what tomorrow brings beyond ruminations on a lot of yesterdays.

and next week?
{so soon},
he arrives and whatever that brings with it will be full for us all.