and have i said yet how much i love my stinking boots?
they were {and still are} worth the 4 year wait i had to put up with before i found cute, but sexy FLATS {this baby doesn't need any extra inches}:
11.30.2009
more visual notes from the weekend:
and have i said yet how much i love my stinking boots?
they were {and still are} worth the 4 year wait i had to put up with before i found cute, but sexy FLATS {this baby doesn't need any extra inches}:
still hiding
i could only speak to you
curled up and fetal
through the space
left between my arm and the pillow
while staring intently at a hair on my elbow.
a day later
and i'm still not sure
if silence wouldn't have been better
since i still can't say out loud
that i wasn't listening in the first place.
curled up and fetal
through the space
left between my arm and the pillow
while staring intently at a hair on my elbow.
a day later
and i'm still not sure
if silence wouldn't have been better
since i still can't say out loud
that i wasn't listening in the first place.
11.29.2009
the last of november suns
11.24.2009
11.22.2009
11.17.2009
RE: the return of the winter suns
hugs to you both,
cam
Windows Live: Make it easier for your friends to see what you're up to on Facebook.
11.11.2009
ucks and uckers
it's the same ole' funk and i'm stuck. stucky. stucker. stuckest. stuck.
and i can think of other expletives that finish with that "uck" of endings, but i'll refrain from swearing which i just want to whine a bit. or a lot.
but maybe i will have pity on you and myself and will spare us both instead.
remind myself that this is just a long week.
yes, things aren't fun when the squirrel is {still} sick.
but the house will get put together eventually.
and the bills paid.
and all those taxes you'll owe come april 15th will also be paid.
and you're life will get made.
and all you need to do is breathe and keep taking that step foward.
and then forward.
and then forward.
amen.
and goodnight.
i hope to be returning in better/more sane spirits soon.
and i can think of other expletives that finish with that "uck" of endings, but i'll refrain from swearing which i just want to whine a bit. or a lot.
but maybe i will have pity on you and myself and will spare us both instead.
remind myself that this is just a long week.
yes, things aren't fun when the squirrel is {still} sick.
but the house will get put together eventually.
and the bills paid.
and all those taxes you'll owe come april 15th will also be paid.
and you're life will get made.
and all you need to do is breathe and keep taking that step foward.
and then forward.
and then forward.
amen.
and goodnight.
i hope to be returning in better/more sane spirits soon.
11.06.2009
one piece at a time
the people who know me best understand how critical it is that i have a home space that is put together.
settled.
stable.
and neat.
and every time i move the sole focus of my every spare second is spent in pursuit of a grounded and welcoming space until all the boxes are unpacked and every corner sings either rest or resonance.
but this time has been a bit of an exception while i have juggled a new job, personal attacks of varying natures, an my little brother's tumor, and it's only been the quickly pending housewarming on saturday {exactly two months after we moved in} that has gotten the final touches under way.
more photos soon, including the newest configuration of my color coded books, but in the meantime i'll give you a small taste.
this is the light fixture over the dining table and it was a collaborative project. az assembled the lights and i adorned it with fabric.
tell me what you think.
settled.
stable.
and neat.
and every time i move the sole focus of my every spare second is spent in pursuit of a grounded and welcoming space until all the boxes are unpacked and every corner sings either rest or resonance.
but this time has been a bit of an exception while i have juggled a new job, personal attacks of varying natures, an my little brother's tumor, and it's only been the quickly pending housewarming on saturday {exactly two months after we moved in} that has gotten the final touches under way.
more photos soon, including the newest configuration of my color coded books, but in the meantime i'll give you a small taste.
this is the light fixture over the dining table and it was a collaborative project. az assembled the lights and i adorned it with fabric.
tell me what you think.
11.05.2009
street light suns
so, my sun/sky project has been a little neglected, but i still look up to the light whether or not it's dark outside. and unfortunately there's a lot of dark these days thanks to the loss of daylight savings time. sniff sniff.
11.03.2009
making art & filling shoes {engaged theatre begins}
back in april i saw the circus of the damned, an original play written by the women of the washington correction center for women {min to max prison an hour or so outside of seattle}. the night after the show i couldn't sleep. i needed to be there next time. i needed to be making work that had that transformative of an effect on others and i knew i had to step up in the fall to help coax out the next set of incredible stories like those i had watched unfold that night.
seven months later, my work with robin lynn smith and the women of washington correctional center for women officially began.
this sunday we went to the prison for a three hour skills work shop involving theatre games, group poetry, salsa dancing and free writing. it was just a small taste of the work we have to come and already i could see the women new to the program holding back, being shy, and then gradually warming up to us during just this one visit.
we began with a shake out {a quirky variation of the hokey pokey on too much caffeine}, then we moved next to human statues introducing the idea of story as told through the body. we got into our bodies with salsa and then moved through our spirits with writing and words. there's one who is a poet and songwriter. another about to be released. yet another just hanging out on the fringes the whole time abashed at the very thought of contributing in the group, though later, she proudly showed us the paper with the free write even though she declined to read aloud.
the free write prompt was "i am beautiful..." and we were instructed to keep our pen moving without stopping at all for five whole minutes. as an active participant, there to encourage the women that it's okay to be goofy, or awkward or just plain ridiculous, i too kept my pen moving after writing those first three words and this is what came out:
i am beautiful i doubt it most often and i feel a pressure to be something for those men who find me beautiful because it won't ever happen again. sleazy satan. i can't believe i gave in to him that is why neil haunts me now. that is what i want to move forward my pen is running out of ink. argh. this is annoying me my hand hurts i am whining and now i'm judging and now i am removing myself. thoughts change so quickly i can't keep track of them my eyes are tired my face is flushed. i am hungry. i want to be home in bed with my books about beautiful people charming frog princes and dancing princesses. i want to cuddle up and forget about bills and unemployment running out and whether or not my dreams will come true i just want to be famous and know where i'm going and that i'll make a difference or that i'll make the life i envision. i want my hand--i want to change subjects. the page is turned we are safe the fans blow and my stomach growls i hate drinking ice i am hungry. where is the white rabbit and why can't I be the white queen damn you anne hathaway. damn my envy. it's shoving me in the opposite direction and so far from beauty.
at the very end a few of the women very directly asked a some of the volunteers {including me} if we were returning in a month for the winter/spring residency. their relief and gratitude when we said yes was almost more than i could receive. in place of all the people that haven't shown up for these women, i only hope i can fill the big shoes that stand empty in their lives.
seven months later, my work with robin lynn smith and the women of washington correctional center for women officially began.
this sunday we went to the prison for a three hour skills work shop involving theatre games, group poetry, salsa dancing and free writing. it was just a small taste of the work we have to come and already i could see the women new to the program holding back, being shy, and then gradually warming up to us during just this one visit.
we began with a shake out {a quirky variation of the hokey pokey on too much caffeine}, then we moved next to human statues introducing the idea of story as told through the body. we got into our bodies with salsa and then moved through our spirits with writing and words. there's one who is a poet and songwriter. another about to be released. yet another just hanging out on the fringes the whole time abashed at the very thought of contributing in the group, though later, she proudly showed us the paper with the free write even though she declined to read aloud.
the free write prompt was "i am beautiful..." and we were instructed to keep our pen moving without stopping at all for five whole minutes. as an active participant, there to encourage the women that it's okay to be goofy, or awkward or just plain ridiculous, i too kept my pen moving after writing those first three words and this is what came out:
i am beautiful i doubt it most often and i feel a pressure to be something for those men who find me beautiful because it won't ever happen again. sleazy satan. i can't believe i gave in to him that is why neil haunts me now. that is what i want to move forward my pen is running out of ink. argh. this is annoying me my hand hurts i am whining and now i'm judging and now i am removing myself. thoughts change so quickly i can't keep track of them my eyes are tired my face is flushed. i am hungry. i want to be home in bed with my books about beautiful people charming frog princes and dancing princesses. i want to cuddle up and forget about bills and unemployment running out and whether or not my dreams will come true i just want to be famous and know where i'm going and that i'll make a difference or that i'll make the life i envision. i want my hand--i want to change subjects. the page is turned we are safe the fans blow and my stomach growls i hate drinking ice i am hungry. where is the white rabbit and why can't I be the white queen damn you anne hathaway. damn my envy. it's shoving me in the opposite direction and so far from beauty.
at the very end a few of the women very directly asked a some of the volunteers {including me} if we were returning in a month for the winter/spring residency. their relief and gratitude when we said yes was almost more than i could receive. in place of all the people that haven't shown up for these women, i only hope i can fill the big shoes that stand empty in their lives.
11.01.2009
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