grants applications really didn't happen {i remember feeling guilty about it at the time not knowing that a thing called kickstarter would eventually come to my aid}. however, in a spontaneous and unpredictable twist, the time i spent there was when this blog really took off. giving myself an abundance of sleep and free time, i found i really wanted to write. so i did. even if i didn't know about what, exactly. and the writing started me on a path that years later would be a central element not only in creating sieve, but in attracting my collaborator, andrew, to my work.
in just a few days, just about four and a half years later, i return, last minute and urged by some drive of spontaneity and adventure. i bring with me my writing, my short film, and my future – all things i need to sit down with and sort out. i go to find places for things. take steps forward with others. end the ongoing battle to decide how much or how little a role my life as a professional photographer will play in my future. edit my film. cook. breathe. run. play. last time the summer suns shone down on tank top garbed hikes. this time, the winter cold will nip at my exposed face and welcome me out for snowy hikes.
this feels right in such a beyond-logic-and-understanding sort of way and i am here. ready. patient. happy.
two iphone photos from last trip when the sun was warm and close.
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