siff....here i cooooome!!!

on the 11th of april, ross, a friend and i went to circus contraption {the images}. the venue camps out at theo chocolates here in fremont which means that the only option for toilets are a plastic blue port-a-potty. on the 11th, i was feeling pretty shoddy. my nose was running like mad, my body ached and there was no way i was going to subject myself to squatting over a dark stinky pit of other people's excrement. enough is enough.

so.

i walked the two blocks east to pcc {one of my favorite organic grocery stores} and used their superior restroom accomodations.

as i was exiting the restroom, my eyes were snagged by one of the fliers that was literally dead center from the doorway of the women's restroom. the flier announced a volunteer meeting next week for the seattle international film festival at the egyptian theater {~3 blocks from my apt}. i figured i would go since i could do a few volunteer shifts and see a few movies for free which i could otherwise not really afford right now.

a week passes. i wake up early from housesitting on the sammamish plateau and skitter across the water to shower and feel presentable and i head out.

and almost turn around on the walk over
suddenly
{inexplicably}
wanting someone to be coming with me.

i win the silent battle with my inner scardy cat {mainly because i tell myself if i can't go to a faceless volunteer meeting, how will i ever get to and through an audition} and i walk into the jam packed egyptian.

i stole a seat tucked onto one far side of the theater and watch the presentations and slowly realize there are bigger opportunities here for internships {unpaid, unfortunately}. various groups pitch their need but i remain ambivalent until the very end when the guest relations group presents. suddenly i'm sitting up straighter inside my head and i know this is why i'm here. this is the group that works directly with the 200 guests of the festival {including mr francis ford coppolla & spike lee} to help bring them in, ferry them around, make sure they are happy at the w hotel, etc.

so we disperse to sign up with individual groups and i bee-line it as much as possible to the guest relations table in the slowly moving throng of people heading out. and lucky me: it turns out my seat was strategically placed to get me to the tables sooner so i don't have to wait all that long to speak with one of the guest relations workers.

we chat a little.
i get excited.
i mention i'm unemployed and she stars my name on the list i just signed and offers me an opportunity for an internship.
their group tends to be really popular so it wasn't announced or else all 800 people would be swarming to their table.
i get more excited and agree to send her my resume.
i linger a bit longer, and on my way out make a point waiting around to get in contact with the head of the guest relations department. just so she'd have a face. so she would know i was that interested.

and now it's thursday and i go in for an interview and not only am i offered one of the few coveted internships, but i am offered to be the head of the department's right hand throughout the festival. each of the guest relations staff have their own particular intern as well as a few general dept interns, but deborah, the head of the dept still hadn't found anyone to assist her. so, i will be the intern that helps her out at the all galas and functions, and helps organize and coordinate each guest dinner, etc. and i'm so stoked.

and part of me is worried.
worried about devoting so much time to something that doesn't help keep me in my apartment, doesn't help with bills, potentially may take away from my time to pour into the last quarter of my acting class.
and then, a louder, calmer voice steps in and says: don't be ridiculous, nathania, film is something you are intensely passionate about and this is your way of getting involved with the industry directly. have a little faith. take a little risk.

and so i'm going to listen. and say yes.
yes, i have enough time for this.
yes, this is the direction i want to go.
yes, i will be able to stay in my apartment and leave on my own terms.
yes, i will have enough money.
yes, this is the right thing.
yes, your inner compass is still working.
yes, this is what i want.

this is me on the way to the interview yesterday.

currently listening to: explosions in the sky - the earth is not a cold dead place